i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
