she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize
