He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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