Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
