He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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