is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
