It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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