Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
