we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
