Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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