Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
