i already hear my dad disowning me
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
