I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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