Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
