Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
