in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
