I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I smell like Dick and happiness
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
