are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
