I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize