All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
