she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
