Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
