$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
