You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
