thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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