Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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