who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
