Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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