It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize