What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
