this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize