My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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