I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
