Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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