we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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