he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
