I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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