apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
