Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
