I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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