put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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