Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
