If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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