I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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