Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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