dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I need water and some morals
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
