Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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