wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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