you guys were way drunker than both of me
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
