We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The adults are the big ones right?
is it fun? or sober?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
