You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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