remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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