Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
