this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
is wine microwaveable?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize