Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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