Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
