I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
