Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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