I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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