A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
